Square Enix High
by Matt-LOTR
Summary: AU. OOC. I changed every one's ages and tossed them into high shcool. i really tossed them. Cloud has brain damage. R&R!
1. First Day of School

**_((A/N: This is a High Skewl Story, muahahaha...........what?))_**

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**Square Enix High**

**Chapter One**

**First Day of School**

**------------------------------------------------------------**

A boy with chocolate-brown hair walked down the halls of the shcool carrying his textbooks. He wore a black vest with a hood, a white T-shirt under that and red shorts. His shoes were way too big and were yellow. He had a crown necklace around his neck. He keep walking looking at the floor as he kicked a tin can around. _'Hmm...Maybe if I...No, that won't get her attention...If I...Nah...That would proberly embaress her...Argh! Why can't I come up with a genius plan like Riku!!! This bites!'_ He kept walking deep in thought before walking into a person. "Ah! Um...Sorry! Sorry!!! Sorr-" He was cut off from her beauty. He stared into her eyes, lost in them.

"Er...Sora?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry Kairi!"

"That's okay. Ya know, you're late for your next class." She giggled.

"Ah!!! Wait...This is my free period..." Sora said, proudly.

"Then why do you have your books?" Kairi said, pointing at his books.

"Um...I have no idea..." Sora was thinking...

Kairi giggled. "Sora...Your funny."

"Er...T-Thanks." Sora said, nervously. At this comment a blush came to his cheeks. Sora tried to hide by shaking his head rapidly. After this he felt dizzy and fell to the ground with a loud 'thump'.

Kairi laughed and held out a hand. "Need some help up? And by the way, why were you shaking your head?" Kairi looked around.

"Thanks, I was feeling like giving my head exercise. And why are you looking around?" Sora asked, with concern in his eyes. Kairi stopped looking and grabbed his hand and ran off. Sora felt another blush creep its way onto his face. Kairi stopped and Sora fell onto the floor. "Ouchies..."

"Yuffie is looking for me again..." Kairi explained before giggling at Sora's attempt to get dirt off of his head.

"Hmm...I have an idea! I wil distract her and you run to your next class and wait until the bell rings!" Sora said.

"Okay."

"Tell my parents I loved them."

Kairi laughed. "Alright! Thank you, Sora! You will recieve a Purple Heart if you come back alive!!!"

"Alright." Sora walked off singing. "I will recieve a Purple Heart if I live, I live. I doubt it though. I waaaaaaaaaant to live! And get a shiney meeeeedal!"

"Silly." Kairi choked out during a fit of laughter. She continued down the hall to her 2nd period class. She walked inside.

"You're late, miss..."

"Kairi Tillmitt"

"Miss Tillmitt, please have a seat next to Mr. Shinra over there." She said pointing to a man in a white coat and white jeans. He had blond short hair, smooth as a rock. "And Mr. Shinra, take off the coat when your in my classroom.

"Dumb broad..." He muttered before taking off his coat revealing a black T-shirt.

Kairi sat where told to and plopped her books on the desk. "Hi." She said to 'Mr. Shinra'.

"Hey, My name's Rufus, Rufus Shinra." He replied.

"Nice to meet you Rufus."

"Likewise."

"Okay class," The teacher said, "Today I will be handing out your schedules. And no ripping them up as excuses for being late for your other classes." She eyeda redhead. he wore a blue jacket, blue jeans, and had a pair of sunglasses on his head. He had black boots and a wrinkled white T-shirt underneath his jacket.

"What?"

"You did it last year, Don't do it again!" The teacher yelled at him.

"Fine, fine." He replied.

Kairi eyed her schedule as the teacher handed them out to the other students.

First Period: Social Studies

Second Period: English

Third Period: Gym

Fourth Period: Lunch

Fifth Period: Free Period

Sixth Period: Math

Seventh Period: Drama

Eighth Period: Band

Ninth Period: Science

After School Choices: Art, Drama, Music, Band, Chorus, Technology, and Library Duty.

"Wow! What a schedule." Kairi whispered at her schedule.

**-Science Lab-**

"Okay...That's good, Tidus."

"Um...Ah!!!" A blonde kid with pants that one leg is short than the other, ducked. He had a yellow and black vest on and one of his arms had an arm-lenght red and black glove. The teacher, who had red eyes, black hair, and a blue suit, also ducked, as the Tidus' project exploded.

"Um...Oppsies." Tidus muttered to the Teacher.

"It's okay, try again." He said.

"Mr. Valentine?" A girl with brown curly hair, and a yellow knee-length dress asked.

"Yeah, Selphie?" He asked.

"What do I add after the clorene?"

"Sugar."

"Thanks!"

"Mmmhmm."

The teacher sat down in his dest that read 'Vincent Valentine, Science Teacher'. He fiddled with his thumbs as the bell rang, signaling for the students to leave the class.

"Yeah, get out of here ya little brats." Vincent said playfully.

"Bye Mr. V!"

"See ya!"

"Asta La Vista VV."

"Don't call me VV, Wakka."

"Sorry Mr. V, ya?"

"Yeah, whatever." Vincent replied.

"Yo, Vinnie." The redhead from before said, walking into the classroom.

"Hello, Reno."

"Cough Color Blind Cough." Reno said, talking about Vincent's outfit.

"Look at your self."

"Huh? Aw man!" Reno said, looking himself over, as they had the same outfit.

Vincent quietly laughed to himslef as Reno was having fits over his clothes.

"He likes me more!" A brunette yelled, walking into the room. She had a blue jacket and a white t-shirt and had tanish khaki shorts. Her gloves looked really tough and were black. She had black biker boots on also.

"Nuh-uh!" A girl with brown hair replied, following the other girl. She wore a pink dress with pinkish lines on it. At the end of her hair was a pink bow.

"Aeris! No he don't!" The other yelled.

"Tifa! He does too!" Aeris repl-um im mean yelled back.

"Who is it now?" Vincent asked walking up to the two.

"Cloud!" They both yelled in unision.

"Someone call me?" Clouid said, popping his head through the door. He had spikey blonde hair and a blue vest. He had blue baggy pants, and black boots. On his hands were brown leather gloves. One of his shoulders were covered in a metal guard.

"Er...No! Aeris did though!" Tifa said.

"No I didn't! Tifa did!" Aeris said, pushing Vincent away.

"Yikes!" Vincent said, falling on his ass. "Ouch."

"Um...Okay...I'll be going now..." Cloud said tip-toeing away.

"Hello ladies!" A cowboy, with the complete western set of clothes, said. He walked through the doors and he had orange hair.

"Shut up, Irvine. This is getting good." Reno said, watching as Tifa and Aeris tried to rip each other apart.

"Oh! Cat fight!" Irvine said, sitting next to Reno.

"Okay! Let's make a bet!" Tifa said. "There is a dance on Friday, Whoever Cloud asks out, wins! The loser has to go out with Reno!"

"Yahoo!" Reno said, jumping onto his desk.

"What if he doesn't ask either of us?" Aeris asked.

"Then, we go on with our lives and forget about Reno." Tifa replied.

"Awww." Reno said, plopping back into his seat.

"Deal!" Aeris said, holding out her hand. Tifa shook it and they walked out of the classroom.

"Um...Girls? You have this class right now! Come back!!! Hey!" Vincent yelled to them, chasing them out of the classroom. "Come back to the classroom, you two!"

Reno laughed. "Guess we're gonna have one hell of a year."

"Yup." Irvine replied.

**-Math Classroom-**

"I am Garnet Alexandros, You may call me Miss A." The teacher said.

"I will be teaching the 5th graders to 9th graders." Garnet explained.

"And I am Professor Hojo. I will be teaching 10th graders and higher. Now sit your asses down and shut the hell up!" Hojo said. He turned to Garnet. "I think that went well." He sighed. "See you later, Miss Alexandros." He turned and walked out of the classroom. Garnet sighed and turned to face the class.

"Okay, here we have 9th graders, correct?."

"Yes..." The class replied.

"Okay! Today...We do nothing! Hang out and talk with your friends, but don't leave the classroom."

"Hooray!" The class cheered and immediatly went to chatted.

"I bet you that Tidus likes you!" A girl that wore a black dress, with black hair tied up, said.

"Are you kidding? No one likes me, Lulu." The other replied. She had a green eye and a blue eye. She wore a white T-shirt and blue jeans. And on one of her hands was a black leather glove.

"Yuna...He probbaly does! Zack told me! Him and Tidus are the bestest of friends! They play blitzball together!" Lulu cried to the other girl.

"Okay! Okay! I believe you!" Yuna said with a laugh.

_Meanwhile, on the other side of the room..._

"Shut, up!" A girl with blonde hair, tied up, said. She wore an orange jumpsuit, with black leather boots.

"Yeah! I know he likes you!" A guy with silver hair said. He had a tail like a monkey. "Quistis, he has to!"

"One thing, Kuja. Why are you acting like a girl?" Quistis asked her male friend.

"Um..." Kuja muttered and whispered something to Quistis.

"Oh my god! No way!"

"Um...Yeah..."

"Your soooo weird! Your a homo?!" Quistis yelled so loud that everyone heard. Everyone leaned towards them to hear better. Even Garnet leaned forward.

"Um..." Kuja muttered then nodded.

"Kuja's gay!!!"

"Ahhhh!"

"Freak!"

"All men take a step away from him!"

**-Gym-Third Period-**

"Everbody! 50 push-ups!" A man with a black jacket on said. He had sort of long brown hair, and he had four leather/chain belts on. He wore black leather boots and gloves. He also had black jeans. "Now!!!"

"Yes sir, Mr. Leonhart, Sir!" The whole class yelled before falling onto the ground to start thier task.

"Aw, come on Squall! Lighten up man!" A guy with a blue vest, blue jeans, black boots, brownish gloves, blonde hair, and a tail said.

"Zidane, Two things. My name, is Leon. And '_No_'." He replied.

"Eh..." Zidane muttered. "Okay guys, after 50 we're gonna play some dodgeball." Zidane called out to the class. The class cheered and Leon glared at them.

"Shut up, or it's going to be 100!" Leon called out. The class immediatly stopped and continued on thier task.

A boy with black spikey hairand had a face thatlooked like Cloud, walked up to Leon. Leon glared down at the boy. "Mr. Leonhart? Can I do 200? I did 150 already."

"Wow. Zack. That's great! Go for it." Leon said, really amazed.

"Zack, over there. He's pretty good at this Gym shit." Zidane said, fiddling with his thumbs.

"Yeah..."

"Everybody! Dodgeball! Me and Leon are Captains! Right Leon?"

"Whatever..." Leon shrugged as he walked over to one side of the gym.

"Alrighty! I choose...Cloud!" Zidane said. Cloud walked over to Zidane.

"Zack" Leon called out. Zack marched over to Leon and sat down.

After awhile, the teams were this.

Leon, Zack, Cid(FF7), Rude, Siefer, Eiko, and Vivi.

Zidane, Cloud, Riku, Wakka, Rikku, Sephiroth, and Zell.

"Our ball first" Leon called.

"Dammit!" Zidane muttered as he tossed the ball to Leon.

"We play one ball today, tommorow we play six." Leon explained. "Go!" He threw the ball at Wakka who caught it and threw it towards Zack. Zack ducked and caught the ball as it bounced off the wall.

"Zack! Pass it to me!" Siefer called. Zack laughed to himself.

_'Leon is gonna kill me for this...'_ Zack looked up and threw the ball to Siefer as hard as he could. It hit him square in the head. Leon started to laugh. "What?! I didn't get in trouble?"

"Nope, I was going to do that." Leon said.

"Hey Leon!" Zidane called.

"Wha-"

BANG! Leon was hit in the face and he fell with a loud '_thud_'.

"Gotcha!" Zidane laughed, proud of his new victim. He looked back at his team. "And that is how you hit a big bear with a dodgeball." He team laughed and thier faces were struck with horror as Zack threw the ball at Wakka and missed, but made a huge hole in the wall. "Holy shit!!!"

The bell rang.

"What happened?" Leon asked as he got up. He saw the hole. He grabbed the ball and tossed it to Zidane. "Who made this?" Zack raised his hand and everyone pointed to him. "Damn..."

"Heh..."

"Well...Since I'm busy fixing this hole. Please take Siefer to the nurse."

"Yes sir."

"Leon..."

"Yes Leon."

"Hey Mr. Tribial!" A little boy with a black face, yellow eyes, and a pointy hat said.

Zidane twitched at the name and turned. "Now, Vivi, for the 47th time...Call me _**Zidane**_!"

"Okay...Thanks for the fun, Zidane!" He said as he ran off to his next class. Zidane sighed.

"The kid's cool and great, but Mr. Tribial?!" He yelled throwing his hands into the air.

**-Hallway-**

"Hey Cloud!" Tifa called to her friend.

"Yo?" Cloud asked TIfa.

"I wanna know...You know about the dance on Friday?"

Cloud blushed madly. "Er...Y-Y-Yeah..."

"Well, I was wondering..."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Who would you rather go with? Me or Aeris?" Tifa asked sweetly.

"I...Er...I...Um...It...You see...Um...Ah...I-I-I....Um..."

"Spit it out!!"

"Um..." Cloud was now all red and couldn't speak.

"Here," Tifa said, giving Cloud a piece of paper and a pen, "Write it down."

Cloud nodded and began to write. He handed the paper to Tifa.

"What?!" Tifa yelled.

"Yeah..." Cloud said calmly.

"Awsome!!!" Tifa yelled holding the paper that read 'Tifa Lockhart'.

"Yeah..." Cloud shrugged.

"Thank you!!" Tifa yelled hugging him very tightly.

"Tifa...I can't breath..."

_Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Halls of the school..._

"Okay, Sora. Just give me the god damn money!" A silver haired boy yelled. He wore a black jacket and black leather pants. His hair folwed down to his feet. He had black gloves also.

"Alright! Sephiroth, Just shut the hell up!" Sora replied.

"Don't tell me what the to do!!" Sephiroth said, tighting his grip on Sora and lifting him off the floor and put him up against a bunch of lockers.

"Agh...You know what?"

"What?!" Sephiroth said, tighting his grip again.

"I'm not giving you anymore money my parents make!"

"No lunch money, eh?"

"Nope!" Sora said, pulling a sheepish smile.

"Bitch!" He said, throwing Sora agianst the oppisite wall.

"Ugh!" Sora fell onto his knees and wished he hadn't went through an abandoned hallway. He stood up and walked up to Sephiroth. Of course his gang was surronding him. _'Shit!'_

"Sora...You will regret refusing my orders!" Sephiroth yeleld punching Sora in the stomach.

"Sora!" A voice cried out. "Riku! Sora's in trouble!"

"Sora!" A boy with silver hair around the length of Leon's said. He had a yellow vest and blue jeans. He had black and white shoes and tanish gloves.

"R-Riku? K-Kai-ri?" Sora said, spitting out blood.

"Hmph...Let's go. I don't want to end up hurting gals." Sephiroth said, turned around, and left with his gang.

"Sora!" Kairi called out.

"Dammit! Don't fall asleep!" Riku said, shaking Sora. Kairi was crying and Riku was about to cry. Sora was coughing out blood, that punch must have hit his gut hard.

**-Nurse's-**

"Okay, Siefer You're gonna be fine. Just a broken nose." The nurse said.

"Just a borken nose?! Just a BROKEN NOSE?!?!" Siefer yelled.

"Nurse Tillmitt!"

"Mom!"

"One at a time, kids." She said turning around and her eyes widened. "Oh my goodness! Sora! Are you okay?!"

"sora..." Kairi muttered.

"damn..." Riku muttered.

"What on earth happened?!" Nurse Tillmitt yelled.

"Sephiroth and his gang beat up Sora, and when we got there, Sephiroth left." Riku explained.

"Heh, too bad I had an injury...I would hit him once or twice!" Siefer called from another room.

"Shut the hell up!!" Riku said, threatening Siefer.

"Now, now. Riku. Calm down. Go to class, I'll take care of Sora."

"Alright."

"Mother?" Kairi asked.

"Yes, Kairi?"

"Is he going to be alright?" Kairi asked.

"Yes, dear. Now hurry along! Don't be late for gym!" The nurse said.

"Okay!" Kairi said walking off with Riku.

**-Two Periods later-**

"Ah! Luchtime!" Kairi called out to Riku.

"Hey Kai!" Riku said.

"Let's sit over here!" Kairi said, grabbing her lunch sitting down at the table.

"Hey, Kairi." Riku said, fake-yawning and putting his arm around her. She looked up at him with an evil look. He gasped and scooted over to the other side of the table. He shook in fear, "Mommy..."

"Hey guys!" Sora said, and sat next to Kairi. He fake-yawned and put his arm around her. Riku laughed at the glare he was about to get. But instead, Kairi giggled. Riku gasped, his eyes wide from amazment.

Riku gasped again, and banged his head on the table, causing Sora's food to fly into his face, in which he got hit. He Licked his face and said, "Sora Dooby Doo!!"

"Good one!" Riku said, fake-laughing at his failure and Sora's success.

"Yeah..." Kairi said, laughing, holding her sides.

_Elsewhere, in the Lunchroom..._

"Freaking bets..." Aeris said, as Reno leaned onto her.

"Huh?" Cloud asked.

"Nothing!" Aeris said, grinning.

"Hey, how 'bout a kiss, baby?" Reno asked.

"Hell no!" Aeris said. Tifa glared at her, "I mean, yes dear." Reno puckered up, and Aeris, tried. And Reno grbbed her and forcelly made out with her. Then,to his surprise, she made out back.

Tifa gasped. Cloud looked down, wanting to barf. "Oh god..."

"What?"

"I'll be right back, Teef."

"Okay." Tifa grinned at her old nickname. '_Teef_'.

**-Hallway-**

A boy with spiky black hair trotted down the hall. He wore a black sweatshirt. He had black jeans, with a rusted chain attached. He had black leather boots, with a small rubber spike on the laces. Just one spike on each boot. He had black leather gloves. He had a necklace that was a dragon. It was silver.

"Hey Zero!" A voice called.

"Wha?" The boy turned to the voice. Not a soul.

"ZERO!"

"What?!" Zero called.

"In here!" The voice called. From the closet.

"Okay..." He walked over to the closet and he was pulled inside. "Woah!"

"Shh!" A girl with blonde hair, an orange vest, and green khaki shorts said. She had swirly green eyes and had boots and black gloves.

"What now, Rikku?"

"Yuffie is after me!"

"So? Why am I in here?!" Zero said.

"Because if she catches me, I will kiss you and have a reason for running away!"

"Were you gonna grab any guy?"

"Yeah..."

"I'm outta here."

"No!" Rikku yelled grabbing his turtleneck.

"Gah!" Zero hit the floor, and was dizzy, "Ouchies..."

"Oppsies..." Rikku muttered. Then she heard Yuffie's voice humming nearer and nearer to the closet, "Oh no! She's coming!"

"And?" Zero asked, getting up, "Hey! Let go of my shoulder! Hell no! Stop!!" With that, Yuffie opened the door.

"Oh! So that's why you left the lunchroom earlier, Rikku. I'll leave you to this stuff." Yuffie said. She had black hair, a green turtleneck vest, tan khaki short, and brownish gloves. She turned, closed the door, and left.

"Phew..." Rikku muttered as she stopped kissing Zero. Zero, was dazed, "Thanks Zero."

"Wah?"

"Zero? Are you okay?" Rikku asked.

"Wah?"

"Zero? Zero!"

"Hmm?"

"ZERO!!"

"What!?" Zero asked, breaking the daze, pissed off.

"Just wondering why you kept saying 'Wah?' and 'Hmm?'." Rikku said.

"Huh?! What?! I didn't!" Zero said, blushing. Rikku didn't noticed due to the dimness of the closet light.

**-Lunchroom-**

"Okay I'm back." Cloud said, sitting next to Tifa. He looked at Aeris and Reno. Still kissing.

"Cloud? You look green." Tifa said.

"Gotta go!" Cloud said running off to the bathroom again.

**_End of Chapter One!!_**

**_Hope you liked it...R&R or I'll...umm...JUST R&R DAMMIT!_**


	2. What the hell!

_**((New Chracters yay!!!))**_

**------------------------------------------------------------**

**Square Enix High**

**Chapter Two**

**"What the hell?!"**

**------------------------------------------------------------**

"Zero, you asshole!" A girl with blonde hair said. Her hair was done in a ponytail and she wore a blue blouse in a black knee-length skirt. She wore a black wristband on her right wrist and black leather boots. "Zero! Give me my brush!" She reached up at Zero's hand, which had her hairbrush.

"Why?" Zero asked, playfully.

"I'll tell Leon!" She yelled.

"Woah! Ashley! Don't take it there!" Zero said, dropping the brush into her hands. "Sheesh...Little Sisters..."

"Hey!"

"What?" Zero asked, not turning around. Ashley was related to Leon, and since she was Zero's sister too, Zero was related to Leon. Which meant Leon had the right to beat the shit out of him.

"I'm gonna go tell Rikku!" Ashley said.

"Woah!! I'll kill you! And tell Leon!"

"He won't hurt me! I'm a girl!"

"I will!!" Zero said, not caring if Leon hurt him later. He tackled Ashley onto the floor of the shcool hallways.

"Hey! You hurting a girl?! You guys are pain in the asses." A guy with a gun on his arm said. He had a tanish vest that was torn open and tanish baggy jeans. His boots were huge black biker boots.

"She's my sister!" Zero explained.

"Oh, then never mind. Carry on." He said.

"Mr. Wallace! He isn't my brother! He is abusing me!!" Ashley yelled.

"What?! Then I'll have to report him!" Barret Wallace said.

"Hey! What?! Lies!!" Zero said trying to find Leon. "Leon!"

"Come 'ere, you piece of shit!" Barret said, approchiing Zero.

_'Crap! Leon doesn't give a shit...Wait! I know!!'_ Zero cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled his loudest. "SQUALL!!!"

"What?!" Leon said walking around the corner.

"Mr. Wallace is gonna kill me cause Ashley said I wasn't her sister when I was pinning her down after her trying to tell Rikku a secret." Zero explained, trying to get his breath.

"Oh...Barret."

"Yeah?" Barret replied grasping Zero's collar.

"He is related to me, this is Zero Leonheart, 11th grade." Leon said. He turned and walked away.

"Oh! Sorry Zero." Barret let go and turned to walk away.

"Thank you." Zero said. Then he muttered 'Asshole...'.

"What?!" Barret yelled, switching his gun to a rocket launcher.

"Shit!" Zero yelped as he ducked up Rikku's legs as she walked by.

"Zero? Mr. Wallace?" Rikku asked.

"Um...Hey?" Zero tried to say.

"Eat giant missile!" Barret screamed.

_'Mommy!'_

**-Outside of the School-**

"Mr. Gainsborough. I assure you that if you were to retire, I will be a great Headmaster." Vincent said to a bald man with the same eyes as Rikku.

"Okay..." Cid said.

"Hello, Mr. V. Hello, Mr. Cid." Selphie said passing by.

"_Crid ib**(1)**_, Selphie!" Cid yelled, scaring her off.

"Okay...I will be a great headmaster...At least nicer..." Vincent muttered at a low voice, Cid not hearing.

'_KABOOOOOOOOM!!!_'

"Agh!" Cid yelled hiding behind Vincent.

"What the hell?!" Vincent yelled. The school collapsed and everyone ran outside. Leon ran out holding Ashley and Vivi. Cloud grabbed Tifa and Irvine ran out right behind Leon. Reno and Aeris followed up. Zero ran out holding an unconsious Rikku. Barret hot on thier trail. Vincent went up to Zero and grabbed his collar. Then he clipped Barret with his free hand. Barret fell down, out cold. Everyone got out of the school except for one person.

"We're missing someone!" Leon yelled at Zidane. Sora looked around adn couldn't find Kairi or Riku. He found Riku but not Kairi.

_'No! No!! Anyone but her!'_ Sora looked as hard as he could. Leon walked up to him and Riku.

"Guys, tell Kairi's mother we're looking for her." He explained, then he left towards the remains of the school.

"Dammit!" Riku screamed.

"Kai..." Sora muttered.

"Well...guess she's gone..." Riku muttered to Sora.

"No!" Sora yelled, running to the remains of the school. He ran through the remains, throwing concrete pieces everywhere. He picked up a big boulder. He threw it and saw another noulder and saw a hand. He heard a scream for help. He tried to push the boulder off of her, but failed. He used a materia piece that he found the day before. "**Earth**!" The boulder exploded and he picked up Kairi. She had cut and gashes everywhere. "Kai..." He then placed a kiss on her lips and carried her to the teachers and coaches. "I found her!"

"Sora! You were supposed to stay with the other stidentsor go home! But, at least you saved her life." Garnet said. "Come, let's get her home."

"Her mother is the nurse here." Sora explained.

"Even better, come on." Garnet said, motioning for him to follow her.

**_End of Chapter!_**

**_R&R...Sorry for the short chapter though. Heheheheheh..._**

**_(1) Crid ib is Al Bhed for 'Shut up'._**


	3. Missles and Cherry Ice Cream

_**((I can update! I can fly! I can have cherry ice cream! What?))**_

**-**

**Square Enix High**

**Chapter Three**

**Missles and Cherry Ice Cream**

**-**

Vincent Valentine was standing talking to Tifa Lockheart. Of course the school was under construction again, and everybody had off. Vincent would go to the ice cream parlor, see his students, talk to them, and end up having melted ice cream on his dry clean only capes.

"Aww Nuts!" Vincent muttered as she tried to scrap his Cherry Ice Cream off his cape. "It has a mind of its own! It jumped off the cone! I demand service! I am wearing a shirt! AND SHOES!"

"Um...Mr. V.?" Tifa asked.

"This is a total outrage! The ice cream here is possesed!"

"MISTER V!" Tifa yelled in his ears.

"Nyaagh! What?" Vincent asked, rubbing his forehead.

"The Ice Cream didn't fall on your cape." Tifa said, pointing at his cape.

"HUH! Magical! Possesed ice cream dissapeared! Gotta send this to the National Inquierer!" Vincent said, scribbling on a notepad.

"Poor Mr. V. He really misses the school." Tifa said, prancing away to Cloud.

**-Other Side of Ice Cream Parlor-**

"No."

"Yes!"

"Hell no!"

"Yes!"

"Cheese!"

"What?"

"Huh?"

Cloud and Irvine turned to Wakka who made the sudden outburst. Cloud and Irvine had been arguing about what ice cream was better and Irvine said Cherry.

"Cherry sucks."

"Nuh-uh!"

"It is friggin' possesed!" Cloud yelled.

"Vincent just ran out yelling possesed cherries." Tifa said walking over.

"Told you!" Cloud said sticking out your toungue.

"Pinch!" Irvine said as he grabed Cloud's toungue.

"Mah toonguue! Leet jo! Refah! Heet em!" Cloud said._ Translation: My tongue! Let go! Tifa! Hit him!_

"You bitch!" Riku said as he started to dance.

"Hat uh hoo?" Cloud asked. _Translation: What the boo?_

"Huh? Ahh fuck! My finger! You bit it off!" Irvine said looking for his finger.

"Your finger is on your hand." Cloud said, patting his tongue.

"Huh? Oh..." Irvine said smacking his head.

"Can I see your book, Aeris?" Riku asked, jiving.

"No, your too stupid." Aeris replied.

"Okay then..." Riku jumped onto the ice cream counter. _"I'm too stupid for the book, too stupid for the book, can't even have a look."_

"Fine! You can see it!" Aeris said, pegging Riku with the book.

"_Ohhhhh Yeeeesss_." Riku said. "Where's the start button?"

"Um...Riku...I think your friends are here." Yuffie said, dropping a cherry ice cream, then it crawled away.

"_Frrriiiieeennnddddsss_..." Riku said, walking like a zombie to the door.

Sephiroth, Seifer, Kuja, and other goons were gathered outside with guns and rocket lauchers aiming at Riku.

"Yay! A Slumber Party!" Riku yelled throwing the book onto his head, scaring Kuja, who misfired a missle at Riku.

_'BOOM'_

"Ouchies..." Riku said, then snapped out of mental retardation. "Huh! Shit! GUNS! Run! Everybody run! Code Purple!" Everybody ran out.

Reno and Aeris ran out making out, Tifa grabbed Cloud, who was screaming like a japenese school girl. **_((no offense))_** Yuffie was dragging Irvine out who was crying and Wakka ran out carrying cheese. **_((WTF!))_** Riku ran out right behind.

**-Kairi's House-**

"Kai...Don't go...please..." Sora said, stroking her hair.

"Brussel Sprouts!" Kairi said jumping up, then going out cold again. Outside you could here some screaming and gunfire. Sora looked out. It was only Zero, Rikku, and Barret.

"Mamma Mia!" Zero yelled, jumping on top of Rikku, obvisously on purpose.

"Awww..." Barret said, almost crying. "So cuuuute...DIE!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Zero yelled, running five miles.

**-5 weeks later-**

"Welcome Back to school you stupid little maggots." The PCA announced. "Get to class Reno!"

"The hell? How'd he? Damn, he's good." Reno muttered walking out of the bathroom.

**-Library-**

"Okay, today you have a sub for study hall." Mister Valentine said.

"Its me!" A man said, which had a red trenchcoat on. He had on arm on some sort of sling in the coat, and he had sunglasses, and streaks of white in his hair. "I am Mr. Auron. AURON! AUUURRROOONNN! Not Aaron. AURON!"

"Okay, okay." The class(including Vinnie) said.

"AURON! YOUR SO DAMN WRONG! RAR!" He said, drawing his giant Masamune, and cutting a table in half causing a rampage...

**_End of Chapter!_**

R&R! Okay so Skeledude 12, i will put those characters in, but not in this chapter. I put Auron in though. And the little _'Mental Riku'_ scene was originated by _Crazy Boris Productions_ by _Mark Z._ I don't take credit for that joke! _In short: Don't sue!_


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